


Gut Feeling

by spacecore



Category: South Park
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Casual gay craig, Drugs, Fluff, From tweeks POV, In denial tweek kind of, Its just weed but i tagged just in case, Just a bunch of gay teens getting high, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 03:12:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12224574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacecore/pseuds/spacecore
Summary: Tweek isn't handling his emotions well.





	Gut Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is my first fic, i got bored and decided to write this. Its kind of jittery but its through Tweeks POV, and it's mostly his thoughts and stuff. 
> 
> If you have any suggestions or advice on anything just lmk! Im new with fanfic writing so <3 i hope you guys somewhat like this, i love fluffy craig.
> 
> EDIT: this got so much more attention than i was expecting, thank you guys so much! i might write some more stuff soon, so if you have any ideas I'll take them! thank you all for the support <3

"Stop hogging the joint, Clyde." 

"I've only had like two hits Craig!"

"Doesn't matter. Pass it over."

Clyde pouted and handed Craig the joint. Something about this atmosphere is calming for me. Sitting in my room, surrounded by my best friends, nothing but the black light on and some calming music on low. It reeked of weed, but thats to be expected. I dont really consider myself a weed junkie, but most people would. It's not like i find the high to be pleasurable so to say. It's more of an anxiety reliever, and i need that more than anyone. 

"You want a hit, Tweek?" Craig looked over to me. I could tell he was really high, his eyes distinctly red even with the little light glowing in the room. That gut feeling started again.

"Ngh- yeah" I grabbed the joint, brushing my thumb on his. I inhaled the smoke, as it hit the back of my throat i remembered how bad it tastes.

"Hey Tweek, when are your parents gonna be home?" Token was sprawled out on the floor, just staring at the ceiling. I think he was the calmest out of all four of us when we were stoned.

"Uh, i'm not sure- they said they'd be pretty late though," i opened my phone to check the time. 1:47 AM. "I don't think we have to worry about it until 4."

"Killer. Should we roll another joint? This one's burning out." Clyde got up to go grab more rolling papers and the stash in my drawer. 

"I'm gonna go get some water." I left the room, the brightness of the hallway temporarily blinding me. I slowly walked down the stairs as to not fall or miss a step. I'd been so jittery all night, even while smoking. Nothing was calming me down. As i walked into the kitchen, i heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I brushed it off, thinking it to be Clyde to get a snack of some sort. He always had the munchies while he was high. 

"Hey," i turned around to see craig standing in the doorway, bags under his eyes and bloodshot. The gut feeling again. "Are you okay? You've been kind of.. off lately."

"Craig, I'm really high right now, i can't even process what you said." Even when hes stoned off his ass, Craig is the same. Stoic, serious, he's never phased even when his mind should be all over the place. Or maybe thats just me.

"Right. Sorry." He watched me as i struggled to get a glass out of the cabinet. I couldn't focus. How hard was it to just grab a cup out of the fucking cabinet? I was starting to get angry. Craig walked over and put his hand on my arm, and grabbed the cup for me. I took it from him and turned on the tap. I started to head back upstairs, Craig following close behind.

"What the fuck?" I walked into my room, spotting Clyde picking up tiny nuggets of pot scattered on the floor.

"I was just trying to roll one and it spilled everywhere!"

"Maybe you shouldn't try to handle weed when you're high, jackass. You can't even roll a joint correctly." Craig was right. Neither of us had been good at rolling those damn things, except for him.

"Clyde, we should be heading back anyway. I think you're more sober than i am. So you can drive." Token finally sat up and got his stuff together, along with Clydes. He was just gonna leave it all here anyway.

"You need a ride home Craig?" Clyde looked over as he walked towards the doorway.

"No, I'll walk. Thanks." 

"Alright. Later." Craig came over and sat next to me on my bed. Our knees were almost touching and i could feel his eyes piercing into me. That gut feeling again. "Tweek."

"It's late. Shouldn't you go home? Your parents might get mad at you."

"What's wrong? I'm your friend, you can trust me. Is everything okay?" I couldn't lift my head. I was shaking and twitching, the little high i had left was starting to wear off. My hands were sweating. That gut feeling was getting stronger. "Wh-what are you talking about. Ngh-! I'm fine Craig. You're just high."

"I know you Tweek. You're so laid back when we smoke but tonight you've been all over the place. You're acting like someone is gonna kill you." I looked around the room frantically hoping there wasn't actually someone there to kill me. Craig cant just say things like that! 

"I-ngh, I don't know Craig," was i really gonna say this? No. Definitely not. "It's nothing. Dont worry about it." Was i just about to admit my feelings to Craig? I could've passed it off the next day saying i was high. No. That wouldnt work. He already knew i haven't been able to stay calm at all these past few weeks. That gut feeling. Its getting stronger.

"Hey," Craig grabbed my hand squeezed it tightly. "You wanna lie down? We can cuddle again until you wanna talk." 

"Okay." I was laying on my left side, facing Craig. He looked at me and put his arm around my waist. I couldn't move. It felt like some invisible barrier was sitting on top of of me, forcing me to stay still. It was getting hard to breathe, and with every second i was shaking more. I couldn't look at the boy across from me. I couldn't face my fears. Looking at him would just make it worse. Admitting my feelings would just make me a terrible person. Why would a guy like Craig have an interest in me anyway? He didn't like anyone. And he most definitely didn't like boys either. Yeah we cuddled a few times, but it was probably out of pity. But why would he want to help me anyway? Im thinking too much. Tears started to prick the corner of my eyes, and i squeezed them shut to stop myself from breaking down right then and there. I was dizzy as fuck. Everything was a haze. I couldnt feel anything, i felt like i was floating but being crushed at the same time. Does that even make sense? I was snapped out of my trance when i felt Craigs hand rest on my cheek. His thumbs wiping away my tears, and as i opened my eyes Craig was looking at me with his deep indigo eyes. They looked like deep oceans, all kinds of life swimming around, dark at night but when the sun hit them you could see the sparkle that lives there. Oh god, its that gut feeling again. 

"A-are you still high?" I asked through broken sobs. I was still crying a lot. Oh god. Crying in front of my crush again, nice going Tweek.

"Mm, no," Craig paused. "Are you ready to talk?"

"I'm not sure. I just dont want to mess everything up. Craig, i-" I felt like I was gonna throw up I stopped, holding my breath and hoping nothing came up. That gut feeling. Why does it keep getting stronger? "Craig, what would you do if you had a guy friend, and he told you he liked you?" His eyes widened a bit, and he thought for a moment. He was probably gonna insult me for asking this. He doesn't like guys, Tweek. 

"Why? Did someone say they have a crush on you? If it was me, i think it would depend on the guy." Wait. What?

"You're gay?" i pushed myself up on my hands and looked down at Craig, eyes wide, tears still drying on my cheeks. I stand corrected.

"Yeah, i never told anyone, i just felt like everyone would figure it out themselves when i started dating a guy or something. But i donf think that'll happen anytime soon, so i guess it could be our little secret." Craig was laying on his back, staring at the cieling. He said all of this with ease, as if he trusted me with it. Our little secret, huh. There's that gut feeling again.

"Why do you say that? Do you not like anyone here?" Could i make it anymore obvious? I need to stop myself before something slips out.

"No, i do. I just dont deem myself as the likeable type, i mean, you know me Tweek. Stoic, mean, i dont like anything except for my guinea pig and smoking weed every weekend. What's to like about a guy like me?" He didnt seem phased by any of this, although the tone in his voice slightly changed. Why would Craig say these things about himself? He's the best guy I've ever met. He treats me so well, and i enjoy his company so much. I feel like all my troubles disappear when im around him. There it is again.

"Who do you like?" The room got silent for a minute. Oh god, i fucked up. I could feel another breakdown coming on. Craig hates me. I should respect his privacy. I broke the silence. "I-i mean, you don't have to tell me. Forget i said anything. We don't have to mention this again if you don't want." I got off the bed and sat on the floor. I pulled my knees up to my chest and sat there, on the verge of tears. God, what was i doing. Why didn't Craig just go home? Why did he have to hang around here with me all the time? Oh man, Craig hates me. He was still sat on my bed, as he started to speak.

"This boy... He's really great. He can get out of hand sometimes, but his personality is amazing. He's gorgeous too, even when he doesn't try," I knew it, i knew Craig could never like me. What was i thinking? I never had a chance. "It's like, whenever im around him, i get butterflies. I wanna be with him all the time, and use cute pet names for him. I wanna make him feel better whenever hes feeling bad. I wanna wake up next to him and the morning, and run my fingers through his silky, blonde, messy hair. I wanna help him button his shirt when he can't get it right. I wanna hold him and tell him everything is gonna be okay whenever he breaks down." Wait a second. Did he just? No. That's not right. It must be someone else.

"..Craig?" I heard my bed creek as Craig got up and sat in front of me on the floor. He grabbed both of my hands and looked at me. Even in the slight darkness of my room, i could see the emotion in his eyes. The gut feeling. It's stronger.

"Tweek. You don't have to accept me at all. I just want us to at least still be best friends," Accept him? Does he think im going to rag on him because he likes dudes? He's in for a surprise. "You've changed me for the better. I mean, im still emotionless and im a dick, but around you, i feel like being a better person. I just wanna help you, and make you feel important." I couldn't stop staring at Craig. Was this happening? Should i tell him how i feel? Fuck it. 

"Craig," Oh god. Im so embarrassed. He just spilled his heart out to me and i can barely do the same. "I like you. Alot. You've made me feel special in so many ways. I feel like a real person when you talk me through my breakdowns. I've felt like this for a while, but i didnt wanna say anything. I didn't wanna fuck it up. I didn't wanna lose you Craig. I love you," Fuck. That just slipped out. "You've helped me see something in myself that i didn't know i had. And even though most of our bonding times are getting high in my room, or even by Starks, i cherish the moments im around you. I felt like you just pitied me. Like you only helped me because you needed to, or you felt bad for me or something like that. I dont know." 

"Tweek."

"Yeah?" 

"I love you." Craig brought his hand up and cupped my face, pulling me closer to his. In that moment, it felt like bliss. His lips were on mine, soft and warm and welcoming mine. I smiled on his lips, bursting with joy. I couldnt contain my emotions. I felt like i was going to cry of happiness. He pulled away and looked at me, smiling. 

"I love you, Craig." That gut feeling. It was gone.


End file.
